There were a lot of problems with director Michael Bay’s live-action Transformers movie released in 2007.  The comedy was forced, the robot battles were confusing, and the movie was about 30 minutes too long.  As this was a live-action Transformers movie, a movie I had been dying to see since I was about six years old, I was willing to forgive these flaws.

Now, Bay returns with the inevitable sequel, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.  I had faint hopes that these issues would be fixed in the sequel, but unfortunately they are only magnified; and now that I’ve gotten over the initial buzz of a live-action Transformers movie, I must admit that I’m much less forgiving.

The plot is really irrelevant, but here’s the basic idea. Sam is starting college and the Autobots have teamed up with an elite group of humans to form NEST, an organization dedicated to destroying the remaining Decepticons hidden across the planet.  The Decepticons are searching for the remaining fragment of the Allspark cube as the fragment has the power to reenergize their leader Megatron.  Meanwhile, a new villain named The Fallen serves as The Emperor to Megatron’s Darth Vader and he seeks to invade Earth, seeking revenge for an event that happened when he first arrived in 17,000 B.C.

Most of this backstory is explained in the film’s rather lengthy mid-section, part of a 150-minute runtime that is about 45 minutes of overkill.  Overkill is, in fact, perhaps the best way to describe Revenge of the Fallen.  Well-known for emphasizing explosions and action over story and character, Michael Bay outdoes himself here.  With so much happening onscreen, it is difficult to follow the action.  The film’s climactic battle is so cluttered that it is impossible to tell who is battling who.  What’s worse is that Bay seems to have forgotten exactly what makes Transformers so fascinating: they are robots that turn into everyday objects!  Yet, if pressed I wouldn’t be able to tell you what half of the robots turn into.  They become robots just for robots’ sake.  The allure of Transformers is gone.  We might as well be watching I, Robot 2, Terminator or any other movie about robots.

Along with screenwriters Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, and Ehren Kruger, Bay also makes some confusing choices when it comes to designing some of the new Transformers.  I really enjoyed the character of Wheelie, who transforms into a remote-control car; that is, until he started humping Megan Fox’s leg (really?).  I also was glad to see that the film introduced the Constructicons who unite to form a gigantic robot named Devastator; but why does Devastator have to have testicles?  If nothing else, Bay certainly managed to turn this movie into something even more juvenile than the action figure-based kiddy cartoon that inspired it.  As for the Transformer who turns into a human (huh?)… that’s just a lame excuse for Bay to feature another hot female body.

Not all of the new characters were wasted.  Fans of the cartoon series will enjoy seeing popular characters like Soundwave, Ravage, and Skyfire.  Although each of these characters had to be retooled a bit (a cassette player may confuse younger audience members), I’m sure fans will be satisfied with how they were handled.  Before going into overdrive for the final battle scene, Bay also managed to create the franchise’s best fight scene to date as Optimus battles a trio of Decepticon attackers.

As for the film’s humans, they pretty much just get in the way.  Shia LaBeouf’s Sam is a necessity, as are some of the soldiers, and Megan Fox works as eye candy, but perhaps Starscream should have taken out the rest of the human characters at the outset.  Just like in the first film, the comedy involving the parents is forced and is good for nothing but adding to the runtime.  The same can be said for bringing back John Turturro as Agent Simmons, or introducing Ramon Rodriguez as Sam’s new roommate Leo.  A Rainn Wilson cameo, however, is priceless.

So, the bottom-line is that Revenge of the Fallen falls victim to the same trap suffered by most modern sequels.  The focus is all on being bigger, but not necessarily better.  Fans of the original film will not be disappointed, but those who were on the fence might fall off.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is rated PG-13 for “intense sequences of sci-fi action violence, language, some crude and sexual material, and brief drug material.”  Explosions abound and are likely to be unnerving for young viewers, but what I felt pushed this movie far into the PG-13 realm was its extremely unnecessary crudeness.

Courtesy of a local publicist, Jeff attended a promotional screening of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.